I didn’t write this, but found it on one of my webtrawls and thought it would be worth sharing.

Kitchendog

Imagine a closet.

Joe goes into the closet, closes the door and starts praying to Jesus. It fills him with a sense of meaning and value. When Joe comes out of the closet he’s a good person. He doesn’t lie. He goes out of his way to help strangers around him. He’s open minded and not afraid to discuss with others their take on what matters in life. He works hard and pays his taxes and he isn’t deathly afraid 24/7 about all the terrible things that are out to get him and his little herd.

Here’s Achmed. He too goes into the closet and prays to Allah. Much like Joe he feels fulfilled and gratified. He too comes out of the closet a wonderful person because of it.

Jimbo doesn’t believe in Jesus or Allah. He believes in Thor, Oden and all the rest of the pagan nordic gods. He goes in to the closet and starts praying for Thor’s hammer to grant him strength and such. But alas, when Jimbo comes out of the closet he too handles himself life Joe and Achmed.

Finally we have Eric. Eric doesn’t believe in any good. He’s happy to accept the grandeur of life without a deity. When he goes into the closet he has no god to pray to so instead he calls his friends and family for moral guidance and support. He entertains himself with education and knowledge so as to better understand and appreciate the world around him. When Eric comes out of the closet he’s a wonderful, tolerant person like the three gentlemen before him.

Nobody else knows what happens in the closet, and nobody needs to care about it either. This is the way religion or lack thereof should work. Just like sex you can have it in any way shape and form that works for you, I promise I won’t get in your face about it. I just want you to respect me when I say that I don’t want to know about you activities. I don’t care about your reasons for letting your three girlfriends tape you to the wall and smear you with peanut butter every sunday, and I don’t care about your reasons for praying to a mystery entity on sunday either. I don’t care.

But if you come out of the closet a bigoted, angry fundamentalist unable and unwilling to treat people with respect? Yelling like a five year old? Ttrying to force your believes on the rest of us? Trying to legislate to give yourself special perks? Trying to crack down on dissenters? Trying to stifle free speech? Trying to change what MY future children learn in school? Trying with every breath in your body to sell to the world why YOUR thoughts matter most, and why YOUR lifestyle is the only valid one and why YOU should enjoy special treatment then you know what?

STAY THE F**K IN THE CLOSET.